What I Have...

Sometimes I feel so frustrated trying to speak Spanish. It is not the Spanish I am frustrated with...it is the lack of ability I have at it. I can speak, but sometimes it is so basic, so limited, so shallow. I desire so badly to have meaningful, in depth conversations with those I come in contact with. I want to truly share my heart, what I understand of our Lord's heart, and hear and understand what is happening, really happening inside people. At times I feel like I am speaking like a kindergartner...I am positive I write like one in Spanish (and maybe English too:)

But as this last week of school approaches, I have been reflecting back on my first weeks here. I would sit at the table at meals smiling politely and uttering the few words I knew...gracias, por favor, rico! I praise the Lord that I can now have a conversation! Yes, it is broken, has incorrect grammar and I have tons of words I am missing in my vocabulary. But, I can have one...understand what the person is saying, get my point across, no matter how broken and ugly it might sound to a native speaker. Am I content with where I am at?...no way! I want to get to the point where I can speak with more depth and share my heart fully. But for now I am giving what I have, the words have, the ability I have...right now, not what I will have eventually...I give what I have right now to the Lord and ask Him to use it for His glory and His work. I praise Him that He can work with my few words, with my terrible grammar, and my weaknesses...if I just give it to Him.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9